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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27468427">How does it feel to be a heart?</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/cubbibara/pseuds/cubbibara'>cubbibara</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan, The Trials of Apollo - Rick Riordan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Can you tell?, Established Nico di Angelo/Will Solace, Feelings Realization, Fluff, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Nico di Angelo is Bad at Feelings, Original Character(s), Protective Will Solace, Soft Boyfriends Nico di Angelo and Will Solace, nico is my comfort character, she's not there for long tho</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 18:40:30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,901</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27468427</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/cubbibara/pseuds/cubbibara</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s been like this for a while. Will, I mean, fussing over me every time I end up getting hurt. He’s currently wrapping band-aids around the knuckles of my fingers, trying carefully not to press too hard on the cuts. It’s annoying, but I wouldn’t say I hate it, though. I mean. It’s Will Solace. I can’t hate it, it’s physically impossible, him being my boyfriend and all. Boyfriend. My boyfriend. </p><p>The words still sit funny, like a pool of lead in the lowest part of my gut. </p><p>-</p><p>Nico is struggling with his feelings, being brought up in the 1930's, and tries to explain to Will how he's not too comfortable with his physical affection.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Nico di Angelo &amp; Will Solace</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>23</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. lead pools filled with light touches</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>credits to my friend for the shirt idea, she asked me to :)<br/>this is set after heroes of olympus, but before trials of apollo, (and don't worry, there aren't any spoilers for ToN)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Nico, I swear to Hades if you get yourself hurt one more time-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I know, Solace. You’ll ‘lock me in the infirmary’ until I ‘decide to stop shadow travelling away from my responsibilities’. Whatever </span>
  <em>
    <span>that </span>
  </em>
  <span>means.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You know I will, Nico, don’t test me.” He laughs, nudging my arm softly with his elbow. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s been like this for a while. Will, I mean, fussing over me every time I end up getting hurt. He’s currently wrapping band-aids around the knuckles of my fingers, trying carefully not to press too hard on the cuts. It’s annoying, but I wouldn’t say I hate it, though. I mean. It’s Will Solace. I can’t hate it, it’s physically impossible, him being my boyfriend and all. Boyfriend. My boyfriend. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The words still sit funny, like a pool of lead in the lowest part of my gut. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Come on, we’re going.” Will suddenly stands up from our spot in the freshly cut grass, next to the strawberry fields. He reaches his hand down to me, helping me onto my feet. His hand is gentle, yet sturdy as he lifts me to my feet.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Where?” I ask. Will picks up the jacket we were sitting on and throws it over his shoulder. It’s too hot to be wearing one anyway, well, for </span>
  <em>
    <span>him </span>
  </em>
  <span>at least.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If I know you how well I think I do,” He starts walking down towards the cabins, his steps quickening down the hillside. “You’ll probably have even more scratches and bruises under that jacket of yours, so we’re going to my cabin to take care of you.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I-” I start, looking at him, dumbfounded. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He turns back around to me with soft eyes. His blonde curls bouncing against his cheeks. They’ve grown out over the few months we’ve been together. His smile, small and simple. “So are you coming? Or will I have to carry you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t you dare carry me, Solace.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And what’ll happen if I do?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I swear-” He catches my waist and lifts me up, almost falling backwards with the momentum. “WILL-” His jacket falls off of his shoulders, but he doesn’t seem to mind. My hands grab his forearms, and I try my best to pry them apart, but it’s no use. I feel my face flush. “STOP IT!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’s too embarrassing. His grip on me is too tight. The way his arms wrap so fitfully around my waist is… disturbing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I dig my nails into his arms.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“AH- NICO!” Will drops me, and I steady back to my feet. Realising what I’ve done, he looks into my eyes and pouts. “You could’ve just asked nicely.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I, uh,” I look away from his gaze. “Let’s just go.” I move past Will, my eyes following the soft grass on the hillside. I walk a few more steps to pick up his jacket, handing it to him. He takes it and I feel his hand push against my own. I take it, and turn back, going down the hillside. He rests his hand in mine, so softly, to the point where I can’t tell whether I’m touching him or his shadow. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His cabin is crowded, with the bunk beds and all, but at least no ones here. Will told me on the way that the Apollo cabin has been so fixed on archery recently, that he’s had almost nothing to do. That’s why he’s been spending time with me lately.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Let’s take a look, shall we?” He says as he places a First-Aid kit on his bunk, sitting down expectantly next to it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, sure,” I say, taking off my jacket. It feels awkward standing up, so I take a seat to his right, looking down at my lap. “So, um.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shit, Nico.” Will’s hand hovers over my left shoulder, looking to me either for permission or to scold me. I honestly can’t tell which one. “That’s a really ugly graze.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Mhmm” I agree.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Follow me.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He leads me to the bathroom and washes his hands thoroughly before drying them and turning to me. “Are you gonna take your shirt off, Nico?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“H-huh?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Will blushes slightly, through his tanned, freckled skin. “How else am I supposed to clean that wound with your sleeve in the way?” He says, as if trying to convince himself that </span>
  <em>
    <span>that’s </span>
  </em>
  <span>why he said it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Oh. That makes sense.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I hesitantly oblige, sitting on the edge of the sink as he takes the shower head and turns it on. He tests the water before cleaning my graze. It’s room temperature, but it still makes me shiver as it stings my wound. Slightly. I don’t complain.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Will leaves to retrieve his med-kit.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I sit there. Shirtless. Wet. In my boyfriend's bathroom. The thought makes the lead pool slosh around, pulling harder at my organs. It’s cold. So cold. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I turn around to see myself in the mirror behind me. My hair’s a mess from the breeze outside, all knotted and fluffy. I pat it down on the top of my head. I move the hair from my face. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Woah, </span>
  </em>
  <span>I think, looking at the bags under my eyes, </span>
  <em>
    <span>I look… well, like a ghost. </span>
  </em>
  <span>The graze on my shoulder stings and I turn back to the doorway, hesitant to hold it. Instead I look down to my hands, sitting them against my thighs. I feel my hair fall back in front of my face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I don't bother to brush it away.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ve got gauze bandages,” Will says as he walks in. “I thought we ran out of these!” He looks up, a smile painted across his lips. His gentle, baby blue eyes meet mine.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He walks over to me, examining my wound again. "Lift up your arm," he requests, and I comply. "Thanks."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He spends a few silent seconds bandaging me up, checking to make sure it doesn't hurt.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I grab for my shirt when he's finished, but he brushes my hand away, handing me a clean one. I take it, putting it on, still sitting on the sink. It has Cabin 7 written on it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"So," he breaks the silence "Are you gonna tell me how you got this?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Geez, Solace."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Nico, I've been hanging out with you all day, you didn't tell me about this, </span>
  <em>
    <span>and </span>
  </em>
  <span>I'm your boyfriend. I just," he says, his voice weak, quiet. "I care about you. A lot. I want you to know that."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I don't think I can look at him. I'm fidgeting with my fingers, looking past him. Tears swelling in my eyes. I don't trust myself to talk just yet.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Nico…" His hand reaches to me, and I flinch slightly. He simply brushes away my hair, tucking it behind my ear. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I," my voice quivers, but I push on "I got it yesterday, on the climbing wall." I feel embarrassed. "You were at the infirmity, I think." </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Will takes my hands in his, but I pull away.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I'm fine now, though." I meet his eyes. "Thank you, Will."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He smiles, though his eyes seem sorry. "Any time, Nico."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I'm back in my cabin, admiring the black ceiling from my bed. It’s decorated with small imprints of skulls, ghosts, skeletons and ghouls.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Everything about my cabin </span>
  <em>
    <span>screams</span>
  </em>
  <span> Hades. Who let me design a cabin when I was, what, 11?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>My hand lingers on my bandaged shoulder. I'm thinking about him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Will told me he cares. About me. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The pool becomes thicker, heavier.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I struggle to fall asleep, feeling sick. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I open my eyes to the sound of someone knocking on my cabin door. I groan, kicking off the blankets, pulling my shirt down.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When I open the door I'm greeted to sunshine. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Well, to both the sun </span>
  <em>
    <span>and </span>
  </em>
  <span>to Will.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The ends of his blonde curls are glowing in the morning light. It reminds me of sun rays beaming through light clouds, creating patterns in the sky. He’s so bright, I have to squint to see him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Uh, hi." Will says </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Hey." I reply. My voice is weak and raspy. My face feels hot.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I just came to check up on you, see how your shoulder is…" His voice trails, looking down at my chest. "You're still wearing my shirt."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Oh.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Oh."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It's </span>
  <em>
    <span>his </span>
  </em>
  <span>shirt?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"So, uh," He looks back to my eyes, a blush creeping across his freckles. It's cute. "Can I come in?" </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Uh, yeah, of course, come in."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He walks in, standing in the middle of my room, looking quite uncomfortable. Whether it's from the lack of sunshine, the ghoulish imprints of the wallpaper, or the awkward tension…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Uh," I clear my throat. "Make yourself comfortable, I'm gonna go freshen up."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I leave, heading to the bathroom. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I make a small pledge on the river Styx that I </span>
  <em>
    <span>will</span>
  </em>
  <span> sleep wearing pajamas from now on.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When I come back into my room, I see Will sitting on the edge of my bed. He's fiddling with his hands.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He's worried.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Hey, Solace." He looks up to me, and I sit down next to him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"How's your shoulder?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"It's fine-"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Don't lie to me," He says, his blue eyes urgent, stern. "I'm being serious."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I pout, my eyebrows furrowed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"It hurts a bit... It was kinda uncomfortable last night."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Did you sleep on it?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"No, I'm not an idiot."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I know </span>
  <em>
    <span>that.</span>
  </em>
  <span>"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>We sit there. On the edge of my bed. He reaches over and plants his hand between us, on the sheets. I turn to him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Um." </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The pit in my stomach deepens, letting the lead pool fill it up. I feel icky. Gross. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Will, I uh."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I don't know what I'm saying. I don't know what I'm thinking. But I feel my hand reach to Will's.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, Nico,” He says, sympathetically. He can see that I’m upset, overthinking. It’s a state he's witnessed me in more often than not. “It’s alright. It’s just me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s the thing though, Will” I say, my throat clenching as the lead rises to my lungs. “It’s you. You’re just so,” My eyes sting, my hands tightens on Will’s. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re just so, </span>
  <em>
    <span>open</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The words suddenly come pouring out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re open, and confident. In me,” The tears run down my cheeks, like a train to its tracks. “In us. In how you treat me, how you, well, how you touch me.” I’m struggling with me breathing now. “It’s all so much and it makes me feel so sick and gross and like I’ve done something wrong, or </span>
  <em>
    <span>you’ve </span>
  </em>
  <span>done something wrong. I’m not sure, it’s not wrong per say but I-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nico, hey,” Will’s hand turns underneath mine, letting me rest my hand in his. His other hand wipes away a single tear, his fingers lingering on my cheek. “Look at me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I can’t.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why not?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m,” I pull my hand away from his, resting it in my lap. “I’m too weak, Solace.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I see him looking directly at me, through my peripheral vision. He’s suddenly got that stern, headstrong look on his face. The clenched jaw, fierce eyes, furrowed eyebrows.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nico, you are the strongest person I know.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I turn to him, and he continues.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’ve been through so much shit Nico, growing up in the Lotus Casino for like, </span>
  <em>
    <span>decades</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Wandering the Labyrinth </span>
  <em>
    <span>alone</span>
  </em>
  <span>, tormented by ghosts, you’ve been through both the Battle of Manhattan, </span>
  <em>
    <span>and </span>
  </em>
  <span>Gaia. Went to </span>
  <em>
    <span>TARTARUS alone AGAIN. Plus the constant exhaustion from all the shadow-travelling. </span>
  </em>
  <span>I don’t,” He meets my eyes after his tangent ends. “I don’t understand how you can call yourself </span>
  <em>
    <span>weak.</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A smile forms on my dry lips.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You forgot the kidnapped and enslaved by giants.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You were WHAT???”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Anyways-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I take his hand. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That wasn’t what I meant by weak, Solace.” I’m struggling. “But, thank you, nonetheless, for the appreciation. There’s just this weird feeling I get when your, well, physical with me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He looks at me, his head slightly tilted. “Oh. Oh, Nico, you could’ve told me before.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t know how to? I mean, how am I supposed to tell my boyfriend that his physical affection makes me want to puke sometimes without him taking it the wrong way?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yea, yea, that makes sense.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He puts his hands in his lap, tensing up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Will I-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s alright Nico, we don’t have to if you don’t want to.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But I do want to!” I take his hand back in mine, more confident this time. “I just, I wanna be the one to, I don’t know, take initiative? I want to be physical with you, Will. Just, on </span>
  <em>
    <span>my </span>
  </em>
  <span>terms.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He looks at me like I’m his whole world.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I look at him like he’s mine.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That means no more surprise carrying, got it?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If it means you’ll feel better about yourself and us? I would do anything for you, my Lord of Darkness.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shut up, Sunshine.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I’m holding his hand this time. He’s letting me be as gentle as I want to, letting me be </span>
  <em>
    <span>his </span>
  </em>
  <span>support. I lean over to him, and he lets me.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The lead’s still there, but it’s listening to me now, letting me feel comfortable with Will for as long as I need.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’s so warm.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. night skies and fairy lights</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>"It's alright, Val," he focuses on her arm. "I'm sure you didn't mean to dig a metal rod into your arm."</p><p>She lets out a soft laugh.</p><p>I don't understand how he does this. It's like he knows what to say in every situation, no matter what it is. He knows when to make a joke, when to be serious, when to be quiet. Ever since I started coming to the infirmary, even though it annoys me, I've been listening to his conversations with his patients, watching him laugh and comfort them. It's, well, it's really nice actually, not that I’d admit that to him.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>(this chapter is a lot shorter than the last, and i procrastinated so much trying to extend it, but i think it'll tie in nicely with the next one)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I'm sitting down, in the corner of the infirmary, watching Will tend to a daughter of Hephaestus. There's a cut gaping open down her arm. She doesn't seem <em> too </em> phased, but Will's still being as gentle as he can.</p><p> </p><p>"Hey, Will, I'm sorry about all this," she says, turning to face him. "I didn't mean to interrupt your date."</p><p> </p><p>She looks over to me, an apology in her green eyes. She mouths <em> Sorry, dude. </em></p><p> </p><p>Will had planned <em> something </em> for this afternoon, but he insisted on keeping it a surprise. So here I am, waiting in the infirmary for my boyfriend. <em> Gods, I feel like an idiot. </em></p><p> </p><p>"It's alright, Val," he focuses on her arm. "I'm sure you didn't mean to dig a metal rod into your arm."</p><p> </p><p>She lets out a soft laugh.</p><p> </p><p>I don't understand how he does this. It's like he knows what to say in every situation, no matter what it is. He knows when to make a joke, when to be serious, when to be quiet. Ever since I started coming to the infirmary, even though it <em> annoys </em>me, I've been listening to his conversations with his patients, watching him laugh and comfort them. It's, well, it's really nice actually, not that I’d admit that to him.</p><p> </p><p>"There you go," he says, wrapping the wound in a fabric bandage. "I'll get you to come in tomorrow for that tetanus shot." </p><p> </p><p>Val made a noise in disapproval. She did <em> not </em>look excited for that needle. </p><p> </p><p>She stood, thanking Will for his kindness, before heading towards me.</p><p> </p><p>"Thanks for lending me your boyfriend, dude." She reaches out her hand, and I shake it. Her hands are bigger, and <em> much </em>warmer, compared to mine.</p><p> </p><p>She smiles at me, and makes her way out the door.</p><p> </p><p>I turn back to Will, as he packs away his extra bandages and rubbing alcohol. He starts to speak, not looking at me.</p><p> </p><p>"I'm sorry about that, Neeks." I hate that nickname. "I didn't want to be interrupted like that."</p><p> </p><p>The upset tone in his voice made me excuse his <em> Neeks </em>comment.</p><p> </p><p>I get off my chair in the corner, and walk over to him, watching his steady hands pack away his med-kit. He doesn't look up to me.</p><p> </p><p>My hand hesitates above his shoulder, before I set it down. He stops, turning around to meet my eyes with his. They look agitated as they meet mine.</p><p> </p><p>"Solace, I'm sure it's fine." I say, and his shoulder relaxes under my palm. "Whatever you were planning for our date, we can still go out and do that. Or something else. I really don't mind."</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah, yeah, ok.” he takes a breath. “On that note," I let him take my hand off his shoulder and hold it in his. "Let's get going then." </p><p> </p><p>He leads me out of the infirmary, his steady hand still interlocked with mine.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>"Well, here we are!" </p><p> </p><p>He's standing at the edge of a pier, at the creek in the woods. A small picnic blanket is draped under his feet, and the aroma of fresh strawberries and other goods wafts from a woven basket at his side. The surrounding trees let in some of the setting rays, but enclose our secret dining area, leaving only us and the running water (the naiads and dryads seem to be minding their own business, for once).</p><p> </p><p>"Will, this is," I drift over to him as he sits, taking off his shoes to let his bare feet sink into the shallow water. I take my seat next to him. </p><p> </p><p>"This is beautiful."</p><p> </p><p>"Don't give me all the credit," he chuckles "This was mostly Austin and Kayla."</p><p> </p><p>"<em> Really? </em>" I say, a bit too loudly.</p><p> </p><p>"Yea, duh." He looks over to me, as I start taking off my shoes to follow his lead. "They really like you, ya know?"</p><p> </p><p>I hesitate with the laces slightly, before untying and slipping off my boots. Will picks up on my body language.</p><p> </p><p>"Kayla thinks you're really cool," He says, looking out to the water. "She always asks <em> How's my favourite brother-in-law? </em> and <em> When's Lord of Darkness going to let me give him proper archery lessons? </em>" He laughs to himself. I smile slightly, slipping my socks into my boots before dropping my feet into the creek.</p><p> </p><p>"Austin, however, doesn't usually pester me with questions about you. It's just the usual, <em> What're you guys up to today? Tell Nico I said hi. </em>kinda thing."</p><p> </p><p>"Austin seems nice." I find myself saying. "He seems more calm than the rest of you."</p><p> </p><p>"And what's that supposed to mean?" Will raises an eyebrow at me.</p><p> </p><p>"Hmm." I pretend to think, and shrug. "Just that, sometimes, a certain, Son of Apollo, likes to be, well… let's say, lively. Hardworking, determined." I pause. “Annoying.” I turn to him, and we both giggle under our breaths. </p><p> </p><p>Will turns and leans closer to me, our noses only inches away.</p><p> </p><p>"Is that a bad thing?" He questions, provokingly. </p><p> </p><p>"I guess not." I reply, leaning into him.</p><p> </p><p>I swerve at the last minute and kiss his cheek, then move back, leaning onto my arms behind me.</p><p> </p><p>"So," I say, looking towards the basket. "Afternoon tea?"</p><p> </p><p>He's still in the same pose, with a look of surprise on his face. His laugh, breathy, as he sits back, turning to the basket.</p><p> </p><p>"It was going to be," he replies "But it's a bit late now, so I guess we're having this for dinner."</p><p> </p><p>He takes out freshly baked bread rolls, butter and spreads, some wraps and a container of strawberries.</p><p> </p><p>He cuts a bread roll and offers it to me. I decline, reaching for the strawberries instead.</p><p> </p><p>We eat, squinting in the setting rays and talking in-between mouthfuls of bread, butter and strawberries. Every bite I take, Will looks at me, somewhat in a trance. It makes me blush.  </p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>Before we know it, it's dark.</p><p> </p><p>"Wait here." Will stands up and heads back off the dock, around a few trees.</p><p> </p><p>"What am I waiting for?" I yell in question, nervous to what he's going to surprise me with.</p><p> </p><p>Suddenly, the leaves surrounding me light up, sparkling against the dark sky.</p><p> </p><p>I stand up. On closer inspection, the lights are actually…</p><p> </p><p>"...Fairy lights?"</p><p> </p><p>"That's exactly it." Will's walking towards me.</p><p> </p><p>"Wha- I mean, how…?" I'm still looking up. </p><p> </p><p>Will's standing in front of me, and my eyes are greeted to his. The lights, sparkling in his baby blue eyes. The lights, dancing across his freckled skin.</p><p> </p><p>"Now, <em> this </em>is…"</p><p> </p><p>"Beautiful?" He suggests.</p><p> </p><p>"This is <em> so you </em>." I say.</p><p> </p><p>He laughs. "You got that one right, although I did get one of the Hephaestus kids to help."</p><p> </p><p>We stand there. Under the lights. Only us.</p><p> </p><p>His hands extends out to me, waiting for my approval. Like he’s letting me make the rules, find what I’m comfortable with. His hand is right there. I take it.</p><p> </p><p>I lean in, still holding his hand</p><p> </p><p>I let my head rest against his chest.</p><p> </p><p>He lets go, and wraps his arms around me.</p><p> </p><p>"Thank you." I say, simply.</p><p> </p><p>"I'm glad you like it." he replies.</p><p> </p><p>We stand there, intertwined together, underneath the lights, the trees, the branches. </p><p> </p><p>Alone, under the night sky.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>He lets me go on ahead, as he packs up our dining area.<em> 'If the cleaning harpies are going to kill us for being out here,' </em> he said ' <em> I'd rather they kill me.' </em></p><p> </p><p>I think about what I said before. Will being <em> lively, hardworking, determined </em> (although I’ve decided to ignore the <em> Annoying </em> part <em> . </em>Ever since our talk, about me, about us, he's been patient. He tries so hard to make me feel comfortable, to make sure I'm ok. But, I’m still unsure. I want to… I want him… </p><p> </p><p>I don’t want him to think that I don’t <em> like </em> him. I like him <em> a lot, </em> an extremely large amount. It’s larger than I've ever felt, I think. And I want him to know that. If I wasn’t so scared, so worried, I might be confident enough to show him that. I really, <em> really, </em> want to. I want to tell him, to show him. I want him to know how I feel. I want to- I <em> need </em> to-</p><p> </p><p>"Nico!" I hear him, and turn. "I told you to go on ahead! It's almost curfew, the harpies will come out soon."</p><p> </p><p>"I know, I was just," I meet his eyes. "I was just waiting for you, come on."</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>"Here's your stop." He says as we reach Cabin 13, Hades' cabin. I squeeze his hand a little.</p><p> </p><p>"Could I…?" I reach for his other hand. Now standing, hand in hand.</p><p> </p><p>"Yea, Neeks?"</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Could I kiss you? Could I kiss you and tell you how much you mean to me? How much I... </em>
</p><p> </p><p>"Um…" He squeezes my hands. "It's… nothing, it's nothing." </p><p> </p><p>But he's still here. And he's still holding my hands. And his eyes are looking straight at mine, focused and caring.</p><p> </p><p>"Look at me." He says. I do. "I'm here whenever you need me. I promise."</p><p> </p><p>His voice calms my thoughts, filling my cheeks with warmth. He really is the sun, whether it’s him shining so bright it’s blinding, or just peaking through the clouds. He warms me until I feel whole.</p><p> </p><p>I smile. "Thank you, Will." I say, and I lean up and kiss his cheek. It’s the least I could do for him, but he acts like I’ve just proposed, <em> every </em> time.</p><p> </p><p>"Woah, <em> two </em> cheek kisses in <em> one </em> night?" His hand reaches up and lingers over his cheek. "I must be one lucky guy."</p><p> </p><p>I giggle. "I guess we both are."</p><p> </p><p>And with that, he leaves to his cabin, almost skipping with each step. <em> I guess I could talk with him another night, </em> I think, <em> he'll be there whenever I need. </em>The thought leaves me dazed.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>I'm lying in my bed, thinking, again.</p><p> </p><p>I can slightly feel that lead pool. It's been at least a month since that talk, but it feels better now. Like how now, I can show him affection without feeling sick to my stomach. I guess I just have to learn to let him treat me the same way. </p><p> </p><p>The pool is less guilt, just more, <em> nerves </em>. </p><p> </p><p><em> Get some sleep. </em> I can hear Will’s voice in my head. </p><p> </p><p>And I listen.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>hi!! i haven't been here in a while but this has been written literally since the first chapter came out and i haven't felt like posting it until now,,, anyways have fun.<br/>this chapter takes place around one or two months after the first, and, if i end up posting the third, it'll take place right after this one :) also please love valerie i love her so much my babyyy</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>hi, this is my first fanfiction, ever. i wanted to write about nico being both touch-starved, yet uncomfortable with physical affection (because i have been, non-stop, thinking about it for WEEKS on end). anyways, i left this open to continue if i ever want to, and i hope to write more about these two in the future!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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